Happy November 15th, on the surface, and to most it seems like an ordinary Sunday, but to me and my family, this day is all about celebration, gratitude and true freedom.
You see, 3 years ago on this day, I made a decision that would change the course of my life, my children’s lives, my husbands lives and my business forever, in ways that most will never understand.
This day to me represents freedom liberation, peace, and pure gratitude.
3 years ago, I remember eating spaghetti from a plate resting on my lap while I sat on the edge of the bed in a crummy motel room on Thanksgiving 2012. My husband, John sat beside me, and my two children Kyle, age four and Summer, who just had turned one, perched on folding chairs shared their meals at a small table. We had arrived.
About a week earlier, we left the only home any of us had ever known in New York. A result of a quick decision I’d made to escape. I was scared for my life. Years earlier, we had purchased our home with cash borrowed from my mother and stepfather, who lived nearby.
My stepfather was abusive. I knew that when he felt out of control of a situation and felt threatened, he was capable of terrible things. He had abused me as a child and as an adult. My stepfather had tried to kill me before. He attacked me once with a knife when I was eighteen and once when I was twenty-two, he beat me with a baseball bat and left me for dead on the side of the road.
Looking back, it’s easy to wonder why I would have stayed for another nine years. But I didn’t know anything different. My biological father had been molesting me for years, he tried to rape me at age 9 and then tried to kill me a few months later. I came from a long line of abuse within my family. The whole time everything was happening, all I could think of was if I tolerated the abuse from my stepfather, my mom and my brothers and sisters would still have a place to live and food on the table. I had kept any recognition of the seriousness of my situation out of my awareness for years. When I was pregnant with Kyle, I went to a therapist who helped me unravel some of my past and recommended I “move away from these people and leave the state.”
I didn’t. I didn’t leave until after I met with my business mentor for a VIP day and he was able to help me see, finally, that for my own good and the good of my children, I needed to get out immediately. Then, he said something I thought was very odd at first.
“I’ve coached a lot of people, Kim. This is a lot for one person to go through. This is your greatest gift.”
“Okay, so show me what the gift is, so I can open it up.”
“I can’t show you. This is how you will set yourself free to do whatever you want and have whatever you want in life. This is it. This will give you everything you want.”
I didn’t know what to do with what he said, but I trusted his words. I went home and told my husband, “We’ve got to leave.”
At 11:30am the next morning, with nothing—no job for John, my business that made only $1500 per month, we left. We had no place to live, nothing. With no warning or plans, we just up and left. Twenty-four hours after my meeting with my coach, we left with nothing in place— no job, no place to live, less than $500 bucks in the bank, not knowing where we were going, except Texas. I don’t know why except it was warm and far away from the dysfunctional environment. All I knew was if I didn’t leave right then, I might never be able to leave. I might be killed, and then how would I protect my kids?
Once we first arrived in Dallas; we had to become more resourceful than ever before. We had left our home, John’s car, all of our belongings except whatever we could fit in the minivan. John and I were both scared and even though John he had known about the abuse, he too had grown up in a dysfunctional environment and did not fully comprehend how critical the situation really was. He came with me to keep our family together, and because he saw the vision with me. We wanted more out of life, we wanted to be, do, and have more.
Back then, I felt like I needed to hide how scared I was from John or I feared he might turn around and go back to NY. He had left his job but had not quit, not yet. When we left, he had called in sick to work, then it was the weekend, and by Monday, he still was not ready to quit, so we decided to call his work and let them know he was taking a leave of absence. He had given himself to the 10th of December (roughly 20 days after arriving in a strange city, knowing no one and having no place to live) to find a job or he was going back to New York.
We had a tough few weeks, we tried like crazy to get aid or any kind of help from anyone we could, government authorities, churches, etc., etc., but we were on our own.
I knew I had to hold strong and firm and keep myself together so that he wouldn’t know I too was scared out of my mind. What if we could not do this? What if we were not resourceful enough, what if we made a mistake, were things really that bad in New York? If we went back now nobody would know we were intending on never coming back. But then I remembered, my family was crazy. Within the first two days after we left New York, they had called us numerous times, sent us crazy text messages, broke into our home back in New York, and called the cops and the fire department. I mean, really crazy stuff.
That Thanksgiving night 3 years ago, I was so scared, I sent a distress email to my coach, telling him how scared I was, how I did not know if I could do it… and getting his response back, “WAKE UP, Kim! Make a decision and don’t look back!”
And I did, I made a decision right then and there that I was not going back, no matter what. I made a decision to make this work. This is where we were supposed be. This was the life I was going to create for my kids, for my family, for me. I demanded of the universe that this work out. There had to be a way.
And we became even more resourceful. John went looking for jobs. We had only one car, no place to live, so we bundled up the kids in the car, loaded the DVD player with a movie, Kyle had his iPad, I threw on my headset and dialed numbers making sales calls and serving clients, and John drove going to place to place to look for a job.
Within in the first month I had landed my first high end client, we found a place to live, John flew back to NY to get some belongings and his car and we started our life over again. Three months after that, I had generated $100k+ in sales and thought I had finally made it!
On the surface things looked great and on the outside looking in, most everyone I meet was impressed and blown away by the life I was now living. No matter what I did, it was not enough. I was making good money, I was traveling all over the country, I was buying nice things, nice clothes, etc but it did not matter. I was still not happy!
Truth was I burnt out, I could not continue on this path any longer, I started to ignore everything that mattered, everything that I was building this life for. And I started to question, what is this all for? Why am I doing this?
Now, I am not saying that the money is not important and making sales calls is not important but so is living your life. Life is not about arriving at a destination, its about the journey getting their. It is never going to be enough, you don’t ever arrive. And that is what I realized, I was living my life yet it was driven my someone else, something else, something outside of me.
And the truth was, it did not matter how much I made, it was never enough. I have had 120k months, hell, I have had 120k days but it still wasn’t enough. I had lost site of what was important in my life, what mattered and I was trying to full a void inside of me.
I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be accepted and I thought if I can just do this, if I can just make this amount of money, I can get this persons love, or security, or approval or acceptance, etc. you fill in the blank, the details are not important here.
This was not me. What was this all for? I took a hard, long look at my business and my life and I realized I was not living my truth, I was living someone elses dream and not mine. Although I was making good money life was not flowing and I was not happy and when the money does not flow like you want it to, that is always a sure sign you are not on the right path.I was not living my inner truth and I was no longer following that inner guidance, once I realized this I knew I needed to take a stand.
As I started to stand, really stand, for what I want, what was in my best interest, my higher truth it almost felt like my world was falling apart around me. Or so it appeared on the surface, that is if I wanted to buy into the stories. Instead, I stood, I let go of and released relationships that were no longer serving me, I let go of clients that were no longer serving me.
You know, its funny, sometimes when you are standing your whole world appears to fall apart around you but that it happens… that peace, that joy, that inner alignment. I encourage you to stick through it, stand for what you believe in, even if you are the only one standing, it’s worth it! Once you stand for what you know, your inner truth, you are on a path to more abundance and true freedom, isn’t that what we are all after anyway?
What I realized and what you can learn from this is that it does not matter what you have on the outside if on the inside you are not in alignment with what you want and who you are. You see, I was someone else’s success story, their version of success, yet it was not enough, not for them but for me. I was still trying to fill that void and no matter what I did I just could not fill that hole and be whole….. that was until I found the gift in all of this and I realized that I am meant to lead, I am not meant to follow and as a leader I cannot stand back on the side lines and listen and do what others tell me to do, now I am not saying I don’t need anyone’s advice, that is not what I mean, what I mean is I now take it under advisement but it no longer gets the final say, I get the final say, I get to decide what it is that do, how I build my life and my business and how I serve. And I now know, this is why I am here, to experience FREEDOM at it’s fullest and help others do the same and change the world in the process through their business.
Fast forward 2 years from there, and I sit her at my desk in my home, 2 healthy, happy children, a loving and supportive husband, and a business that supports me earning the money I desire while I get to be there for my kids. The past year has been my most profitable year yet since starting my business back in 2006 and its the least amount I have ever worked. I don’t say that to brag, its been a long time coming and it has not always been easy.
Today, for me, 3 years in, that decision, that changed the course of my life forever has made the biggest impact on me and it all stemmed from 1:1 support from a trusted mentor. I’d like to return the favor and have you celebrate with me so that you can create your own version of freedom with my help. From now, through the end of the month, celebrate with me with this no brainer offer!
If you want more FREEDOM in your life and business I want to hear from you. Here’s the deal though, its gotta be FUN! I am all about fun and I realized that one of the things that have been missing around here is fun and well, me. So let’s have some fun!
I can’t wait to see you on the other side.
Love, gratitude and blessings,
hey, I’m Kim + I am ridiculously passionate about helping you to work smarter and not harder + to realize how freaking amazing you actually are, exactly as you are and how easy business really can be when you are in alignment + simplify + add systems to organize your business + plan your business growth. I’ve been geeking out about online business, online marketing + systems + personal development + all that stuff since I created my first business back in 2006 + sold it.
This whole business owner thing is not for the faint of heart, there is a reason why most businesses fail!
While the road to burnout doesn’t look the same for everyone on it there are some similarities you typically experience on this path!
- You’re always in the weeds of your business
- You don’t have efficient systems and processes (or maybe none at all)
- You aren’t delegating effectively
- You can’t take time off
- You’re trying to do too many things at once + wearing all the hats
It’s exhausting just thinking about it! But there’s a way off the hamster wheel!
If you’re overwhelmed, overworked, stressed out, and worried that if you take time off the bottom will fall out from beneath you and your business will fall apart.
Then, you are in the right place my friend, been there, done that, got the tee-shirt and I’d love to support you in ending the cycle!