Do you have survival mindset™ ? What’s really holding you back from creating the biz + life you desire?

survival mindsetI have not shared this outside a small group of clients and a few stages but I really felt quiet inspired to share this with you all today, for anyone who feels like they are struggling in their business and they are not creating the results that they truly desire.

 

Almost 3 years ago, I was struggling big time in my biz, and I shared parts of that with you, but I wanted to share the raw unedited version so that you can see that you can do anything, and you can change any circumstance on a dime.

Rewind almost 3 years ago now, I was working 70+ hours a week and barely making enough money to get by, my husband had low paying job working nights at the school (after being unemployed on and off for the past 2+ years due to the economy) and he worked at the fire dept on the weekends. We had two small kids (4 and just barely 1 at the time).

 

It was really hard to make ends meet, we would supplement with food stamps and would scrape by barley each month. I wanted so badly for my business to work so that we could be free, so that we could be a family. (It really sucked to work around the clock with small kids, and have a husband who worked nights, I felt like I was all alone raising my kids while I tried to work , for way too little).   I worked my butt off day and night and finally decided to listen to the calling to hire a high end coach to help me.

Of course, I did not have the money to make the investment, after all, hubby had been unemployed on and off for almost 2+ years and we had already ripped through our savings accounts, retirement accounts, 401K’s, but I also knew I did not have a choice, I had tried for years to figure this out but was not making any headway.

It took me a few days to contact the coach that came into my awareness because although I knew in my bones he was the person who could help me, I also had a client who worked with him and so I already had a good idea of what the investment was too.

After a few days I finally gave in and contacted the coach, the next day I was on the phone with one of his coaches having a sales call. I explain to her the issue, she says, yes, for sure this is something he can help you with, and would you like to get started?

I said, sure, what is the investment, 6 months, $50k with a $20k deposit. Well, needless to say, my draw dropped and I immediately said, I don’t have the money, blah, blah, blah. And she said, yes, you do, you just can’t see it is because you have not decided that you want to do this, you are telling yourself, when I have the money I will do it. (well if I  had the money you would not need to do it, I thought)! duh! I just told you that.

Fast forward a few moments, and she said, decide that you really want it and the money will appear, sure enough, I made the decision and bam, I got the awareness of how to do it, now did I want to do this? no I did not? (and sorry but I am not going to share with you what I did, because the truth is, it will not be same for you as it was for me, and that would be a disservice to you because you will likely not see how you have access to the same resources that I did in the moment.

Okay, so fast forward, a week later I have the entire $20k deposit and schedule an intensive to meet my coach in Baltimore. I fly into Baltimore and during this day together, I discovered that what was holding me back in my business, had nothing to do with what I did or did not know, I am smart, savvy, and I have been around business my entire life (heck I was a bookkeeper before I could drive a car), I had certifications, degrees and trainings up the ying yang and still couldn’t figure it out. (It had nothing to do with my business, now that may or may not be the case for you in your business and truth be told, I no longer have the same business I did those almost 3 years ago because the business was not right for me but that is a story for another day)

What I uncovered was that my business was stuck and broken because I was stuck and broken.  I was in a toxic life threatening environment and my kids and husband was in danger, and I didn’t even know it because I kept covering it up, pretending that I was okay, I was in total survival mode. I call this survival mindset ™ and it was killing my soul and my business.

Survival mindset (™) stops you from being able to see past what is right in front of you, you try to just get by, you are constantly waiting for the bottom to drop out.

You pretend that everything is okay, that you are okay, that your life or business or whatever it is is okay, that you are just fine. But on the inside your soul is dying a slow death, it is suffocating, but you are too scared to look into the depths of your soul to find the answer.

But you can use this, you can harness this power, you can get to the other side. There is a way out. Once I received this awareness, and stopped living in denial (Yes, I did need my coaches help to see what the “real” problem was” because it usually appears to us as something different and what I have learned over the years is that  we cannot fix a problem from the same thinking that created the problem. I decided right then, right there in that moment, that my life, my kids life, my husband’s life, my business was what matter, ultimately I decided for me, I mattered.

After all, you can’t really take care of anyone else if you can’t take care of yourself. It did not matter, I had no idea how, but I knew I had to stop the cycle of survival mindset ™ of just getting by, I knew I needed to escape this situation, and change the course of my life and I was willing to do whatever it took because I was fighting for me. It was time to stand up for me.

So, I fly home from my day with my coach and shared this new awareness with my husband what was stopping me in my business from making the money I truly desired. I was so busy trying to be “okay” and pretending that I could not see what was right in front of me, my survival instincts were in high gear, but the problem is that as you get older the same survival mindset that served you as a child no longer serves you as an adult.

I fly home that evening from Baltimore back to NY and told my hubby what we needed to do in order to fix my business. We loaded as much of our belongings into our minivan and jumped off the cliff, no safety net, no plan, we dove in head first, because I knew I was no longer willing to stay where I was anymore. ( I am by no means suggesting you have to do something nearly as drastic in order to get the result you are looking for btw).

And yes, my husband thought I was crazy, but my confidence and conviction allowed him to believe in me and we set out on the journey from NY to TX (it was the only other place we had considered living + it was far away and warm and it was a starting place) and we drove in the car with my two small kids with $500 bucks and dream, we had no place to live, knew no one, had no job lined up, heck we didn’t even know how what we were going to do once we ran out of money (which btw happens pretty quick when you are driving 2000+ miles across the country and only have $500).

And guess what, every step of the way, the path was revealed, all I needed to do was take the first step and the next one appeared. I learned how to actually have a sales conversation instead of solving everyone’s problem on a discovery call). I learned how to have faith and focus on my desires and what I wanted more then the circumstances that were in front me.

I learned how to get in front of potential clients, to package my services and offerings to support me and my clients.   Were there times that I got off track and missed the steps, you bet there was, there were times when we had to sleep in the car, and the kids ate but we didn’t.

Fast forward 30 days into the plunge, I created my first of many five figure months, we found an awesome apartment to live in, hubby went back to NY to gather some of our belongings and within 3 months of taking the plunge I had created 6+ figures in sales. We were crazy?

Maybe, but I can tell you this, you always get what you need when you need it, no matter what, and it’s not what you want, but it is what you need.

And once you learn how to meet your needs (I would not have learned how to do sales if I was sleeping in a cozy bed eating a fancy dinner) can you do that, perhaps, but that was not my path. I had to dive into the abyss and into the darkness of the unknown and search the depths of my soul for strength and power.

And coming out on the other side of this almost 3 years later, I can tell  you that I would not have the business or life that I now have had I not made that decision to leave the way I did.

Obviously I left out many details, it is not about the details in this instance, the point is that you have the power within in you to create the life you really want, but you first have to decide that you are worth fighting for. That you will no longer tolerate the BS you tell yourself every day and remain stuck.

Can you do this on your own? perhaps, and if you’d like some support, feel free to reach out.

Here are some steps you can right now to start living the life you want to live.

– draw a line in the sand and decide that you will no longer tolerate living a life you do not desire or not having the business you do not desire.

– write down all the habits that stop you from having the biz and life you desire

– write down all the beliefs that are stopping you from having the biz and life you desire

– write out what you want your biz and life to look like

– now ask yourself, who do I need to be in order to have this life and biz? what beliefs do I need to adapt in order to be this person? what decisions do I need to make if I was this person?

– get into action on what you hear, your heart knows the way, your desires are gifts from God/The Universe/Source, to help you become more of who you are.

– visualize and focus on what you truly desire every day, not your current circumstances – control your energy by getting in touch with your emotions and not allowing your emotions to control you.

Life is a journey, not a destination, it’s about the person you become in the process, money is great, and I love money, money affords us many choices and many possibilities, I believe we should all have and do have access to an unlimited supply of money, we just need to be who we truly are in order to tap into it.

The only thing we take with us into the next life is who we become.

I hope this inspires you to look within and seek your own answers, and move forward to creating a biz and life you truly desire. If you would like some help creating your biz + life on purpose, please feel free to contact me here. Much love, xo, Kim

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Tap into your infinite wisdom. Hey there, I am Kim Beckers and known as the ‘Rock Your Limits’™ Mentor, kick-ass biz maverick, blind spot detective and true confidence catalyst.

My superpower is helping entrepreneur sisters to kick ass in there by creating an aligned biz, mindset, energy, marketing, biz model so that they can fund the life of their dreams, making a shit ton of money, doing what they love, #RockYourLimits, #ItsNowOrNever!

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  • To uncover the secret enemy
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And I invite you to join me for this 10-day mini-course to help you discover those blind spots that are holding you back so that you can step into your power, and flow and create and transform your life and business.

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xox, Kim

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