You always get what you need (personal story)

getWhatYouNeedI am sure you’ve heard it before, you always get what you need when you need it. And in my experience, I find it to be incredibly true. And sometimes, it means you don’t get what you want but rather what you need.

Sometimes, we think we know what we need and we confuse what we need with what we want. The thing is, the Universe/Source/God whatever you want to call it knows us better then we sometimes know ourselves and what we need. I remember, a few short months ago, we are on a path to buy a house in TX, it wasn’t easy getting on that road, not with the whirlwind of a mess we had created when we left NY with our credit and finances but we did it, we hustled, got approved and we were ready.

Part of me wanted no part in buying a house and then there was this other part of me that wanted to do it because maybe that would make this place feel like home, like I put my feet up and settle in, plus it was a good investment.

So we pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and eventually found a great house, in a great neighborhood and found a way to actually get approved for the mortgage, and come up with a downpayment. And then slowly by slowly everything started to fall apart, everything we worked for started to crumble and a week before closing the whole deal feel apart, we lost thousands of dollars and truth be told, I was heartbroken and pissed off. We had already went through so much hassle, registered the kids for school, changed addresses, paid thousands and thousands of dollars (which we could not get back) and I was sick of living in the place we were renting, not to mention, we already gave our notice that we were leaving and it was less than a week from Thanksgiving holiday.

I was pissed, like really pissed, like don’t get in my way kind of pissed, I could not believe it, another blow, after all the blows we already been dealt just that last 3 months(that’s a story for another day). I allowed myself to feel this anger, to even feel sorry for myself, for a little bit, and then I shifted my perspective, and I reminded myself, you always get what you need when you need it.

I asked myself a new question, what am I getting from these current circumstances, what is the benefit, of losing this money, of John losing his job, of the shit hitting the fan, yet again? After I had just created my best year yet? it made no sense, that was until I shifted my perspective.

I got really honest with myself, and John and I got really honest with each other. The truth was, we were buying a house for all the wrong reasons, we were “trying” to make it work in TX, but our hearts, well our hearts were in NY, they always had been. And the Universe/God/Source knew that, knew that we could truly never be happy and content settling just because we bought a house in TX, that was not what we wanted, although we told ourselves we did, and we did a really good job of pretending, and making believe, and convincing ourselves thats what we wanted.

The truth is, when we left NY those 3 + years ago, I told myself I would never go back, not because I did not love NY, actually I did, I loved living in NY, even the cold winters, and the hot humid summers, the expressway, the crazies, the whole nine yards, its who I am. No, I told myself I could never go back because you can’t go back, you need to let it go, you need to get out of the environment, and once you leave NY, you can never go back, its too hard.

And I realized as I was reflecting as to what I was getting out of this current shit storm of the deal for the house going through, it was that, its not what I really wanted, but the deal falling through and losing the money, and having this shit storm, was exactly what I needed in order to wake the hell up. You see, I got the awareness that I had been trying to make it work, I had been trying to make it be okay, I was trying to be happy, I was trying to think about never going back to NY, I had created that belief 3+ years ago, actually, longer ago then that, because I was always told, once you leave NY you can never come back, its too hard, its too expensive, you can’t do it. And for a short while there, I believed it, until I got the awareness. I also realized that when I made that decision 3+ years ago to never go back, it was made out of fear, out of giving my power away, that what if I can’t stand up for myself, what if I run into them, what if I can’t defend myself or stand up for my kids, or what if I am not safe?

I told myself there’s no way to go back, find another way, find another place. And once I got that awareness that I was giving away my power, that I was not in control, that I was not allowing myself to choose what was right for me, and what I wanted, I knew I could go back. I knew I had to go back, that I wanted to go back, that all these years, I was pretending, it was okay, I wanted to be here. Well, now that I am back in NY, it feels like home, I am whole and complete (not because of where I am living, I won’t give that much power to anything outside of myself, it’s because I am honoring my truth, and my truth is, NY is home to me, and where I want/choose to live).

I believe I had to go to TX, to heal myself, to weld my power, to find my strength, and now that I am home, I am stronger and more secure, and so much more happy, because I have all of me back, I am fully standing in my power, I am no longer afraid, this is because of who I choose to become despite all the curve balls, and shit sticks I’ve been dealt, time and time again (these have all prepared me to be who I am, to allow the real me to come forward, I am grateful for it all).

I know that I can stand, I know that I am safe, I know that I always taken care of, I know that I have the power to change anything.

The moral of the story is you always get waht you need when you need it, had I not been taken through that shit storm, who knows how long it would have taken to wake up the fact that I really did not want to be there, but kept pretending that I did, because I was scared.

I am grateful for going through this shit storm and all the others I have gone through, and all the others that will come, because it is this that shows me who I am, reminds me of what is important to me, that allows me to live in alignment and go after my dreams.

It starts with knowing what you want, what you really want, if you need some help tapping into that, check out my special vision training module here, and then the Universe will deliver what you need so that you can get what you want, its your choice whether you accept the mission, and grow to the next level. If you want something you have never had, you have to be willing to grow to become the person who has that which you want.

So, what do you need? declare it and watch as the Universe conspires on your behalf.

Remember, #ItsNowOrNever, #RockYourLimits

xox, Kim

I help highly capable people who still feel like the underdog who are trying/working sooo hard but always feel ‘less than’ once and for all break free of their inner and outer limitations. Once they stop playing small they rock their power, make the money they deserve and have the freedom they desire. If you’d like my help go here to get started!

 

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